Not in my Faith either

Number 1 came to me this evening to get her agenda signed. About to finish doing dishes, I asked her what was written there. And she replied ” Religious- Festival-Hannukkah-Month-Menorah-”

And I suddenly felt overwhelmed; overwhelmed with happiness as I myself always have had a passion to learn about other religions, to study history. overwhelmed with satisfaction that most likely, my children will not grow up to be bigots like I come across every day on social media because I am teaching them their own religion and acceptance and the schools tell them that they co-exist with other from different backgrounds. Overwhelmed that I live in a country where everyone is welcomed (well yes there are exceptions) and allowed to practice their religion freely.

You see, ISIS is not a terrorist organization. Its basically a radical mindset that makes one believe and understand that what they do or think or see or say is right and every one else is wrong. And unfortunately this mindset is not limited to some bearded, black gown-wearing thugs who kill in the name of the Most Merciful.

Since Friday’s horrific incidents that took place in Paris, I have been reading and watching awfully lot. By Sunday morning, my mind was already numb after watching the horrific scenes of the attacks on tv and after I learnt that a Peterborough mosque, in fact the ONLY mosque in that are was set alight and police said it was not an accident.

By Monday there were numerous clueless clowns, the biggest remains Donald Trump proposing to shut down mosques because to him, thats where the hatred is coming from or it is Marco Rubio suggesting to NOT accept those poor Syrian refugees who are escaping from the same monstrous ISIS and war or be it Ted Cruz who suggested ‘selective’ acceptance of ONLY Christian refugees. Of course not to forget Jeb Bush who can say all that he wants but “Whose bother created ISIS”– Reminds me of Nazism! 

It definitely suits them to ignite the anti Islam sentiment using Paris attacks to support their  rhetoric for the upcoming presidential elections, using sensitive issues like these to stop and ban a religion because a bunch of lunatics who say they believe in the same, just like billions others who practice the same faith peacefully. But when it comes to judging, those billions fall far behind and the blood thirsty faces of ISIS, who some say were created and empowered by the West, become the very face of Islam, the very meaning of which is peace, purity and submission. Do they even know what it means to ban a religion? I’m sure not because that requires critical thinking, absence of which is quiet evident here.

What breaks my heart though, is that being a Muslim, as soon as something like this happens, we start feeling this sword hanging above us. Though again, I must say that Canadians are the most tolerant and accepting warm people, for I have seen far more greater number who respect and protect my freedom than those who just call on our new Prime Minister to send fighter jets to war-torn Syria or to not accept refugees.

Still the Peterborough mosque fire, and the sister who was mocked and ridiculed at a grocery store in the most diverse city of Mississauga because she was wearing hijaab and the Zara store that refused a woman entry into their premises because she was wearing hijaab and the woman who was racially and physically assaulted today outside her children’s school today.  Plus the countless campaigns and status updates that are so defensive, passionately call out to not count all Muslims as ISIS or terrorists and asking for acceptance.

I am from Pakistan, and Pakistan is one of the few countries that has suffered the most from the hands of these terror mongers. We’ve lost over 60,000 people, mostly Muslims, in this war against terror. Just about 11 months back, I was in Karachi Pakistan when over 130 schools kids were shot in their faces and chests in broad day light in Peshawar. Yet the world chooses to mourn selective deaths. I do remember social media turned black on December 16th 2014, to show solidarity. Perhaps Facebook was not developed back then to produce a black filter for the dead children and their bereaved mourners.

But I am not here to question why someone chose to mourn ONLY Paris while in reality, just a days earlier the same evil ISIS attacked Beirut or few months back Kenya or every day in Syria kills hundreds.

My point is simple: No one, and I repeat, absolutely no one should have to justify in what they believe; Muslims, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Sikhs, Buhddhists, Atheists-just no one. It is a feeling of utter disgust and low self esteem to have to justify your existence and your appearance and what you wear and what you do. Somewhere someone has to take a wise decision. A little tolerance, a little acceptance and just a little less judgement should be good enough to begin with!

Religion is between man and Creator. Let it be that way!

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Of Hilals and sightings

I just read on Facebook: Quote: “It is haraam to fast on Eid, yet half of the Muslims are fasting today. It is a major sin to leave a Farz Roza(fast) and yet half of the Muslims are celebrating Eid. Who is answerable for this?”

Ramadan this year started without much of a confusion. Muslims all over the world generally observed 1st Ramadan on June 17th. Even my neighbours who are from Middle East and usually follow festivals as per back home, were pleasantly surprised that Pakistanis, Indians, Arabs and Muslims in general in the neighbourhood were celebrating Ramadan together which is very rare.

Last night was the 29th of Ramadan and about 80% people were sure that 1st Shawwal would fall on Friday July 17th and Eid ul Fitr would be celebrated.

However, about 15 minutes after Iftaar, Hilal Committee of Toronto announced that there was no sighting of moon and hence we shall have 30 blessed days of Ramadan and Eid would be on Saturday July 18th.

I was surprised, yet happy and satisfied. There is no point in celebrating Eid or any festival just because people back home are celebrating it. Called a couple of relatives, informed them and the feeling was mutual.

And there was this chaos on Facebook, Twitter, Whatsapp. Women telling each other on groups that they are wrong. Endless fights. Then someone tweeted from Hilal Committee’s Twitter handle after midnight that they are reverting their decision and Eid shall be Friday July 17th.

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Courtesy: Naheed Mustafa

Few minutes later they tweeted that the account was hacked by someone and the tweet was falsely sent. and that there is no change in decision. While Social Media was abuzz with people posting news of moon sightings in Edmonton and California and hence emphasizing that Eid should be on Friday, some parts of USA including Houston, Miami, Newyork, Philadelphia were already preparing for Eid on Friday as for them it was decided from about a month before.

IMG_2036

I wonder why there has to be so much division on such a small issue. Isn’t Eid supposed to be a blessing from Allah SWT for the faithful after fasting for 30 days. Why can’t here be unity? Why can’t ISNA and HSCNA and all the big wigs get together and find a solution for this?

And imagine the sorry state of affairs when I visited ISNA website just moments earlier, the main banner wished Eid Mubarak, while the date mentioned it was still 30th Ramadan. Sigh!

ISNA-Main Page
ISNA-Main Page

I am no scholar; just an ordinary Muslim who does not want to be divided in two parts because half of the family is celebrating Eid one day and the other half on the other. I do not have the knowledge to decide which Masjid is right and which distance parameters does my residence fall in. I, as a Muslim follower, do put my faith in these scholars and they can’t just get away with decisions just so it is easy to book the halls for Eid prayers in advance or because the other group follows some other school of thought.

Time has moved, advanced. Let us not give others any chance to ridicule us. Eid is Allah’s blessing. Let it be that!

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Oh Karachi!

Image Courtesy: Express Tribune

They say a picture speaks a thousand words..

But this one right here left me speechless…..

I live in Canada. And the moment I say “Canada”, snow and cold is the first word that comes to mind. We have extreme temperatures here about 9 months a year and even in those three months that we call summer, weather is never reliable. We dance when the weather hits double digits, and 16 degrees is like Ooo La La!

July 1st evening has never been the same; I remember going to see fireworks with n extra hoodie on because the weather is chilly. Yes on July 1st!

During winter, temperatures in my region reach to -30 and -40.  And this is nothing compared to further northern provinces where these are not extreme but regular temperatures. Yet life goes on!

As soon as the weather is forecasted, city governments announce Extreme Cold Weather alerts which means that shelters and warm centres are open and accessible for the homeless and the poor.

The communities help each other. even my lovely neighbours offer to blow our snow when there is a snow storm and its impossible for one person to clean the drive way.

Yes we pay taxes, and then those taxes are spent on situations like these to help keep things running. Its not an ideal world, it has its own flaws and corruption and politics and what not.

Yet when I saw the picture above, I was short of words…..

I am a Karachiite, and I love Karachi. This is the city that feeds millions all over the country, regardless of their ethnicity, culture, religion or race. The resilient people living here have seen things like street crimes, gang wars, political fights, load-shedding and what not. We are the people, who when hear that a storm is about to hit our coast, run to Clifton to see where the storm is coming from and how. We get married and bury our loved ones in the shade of gunfire, explosives and curfew. Everyone who wants power claims he loves Karachi.

Yet when it comes to situations like this heat wave that has swallowed about 700 plus lives in 3 days and that even the local media here in Toronto and global media is giving full coverage in prime time, Karachi is no body’s business. Everyone tries to push Karachi in someone else’s court and everyone runs away. Karachi becomes a prostitute for these shameless creatures called our rulers who want to have all the fun with her, but do not want to own her! If it were not for the brave and courageous people of Karachi, who are always all by themselves when it comes to situations like these, Karachi would not be the same!

I have also spent few years in Dubai and I know what and how 47-48 degrees feel like. But I guess even the Arabs that we always so keenly make fun of, have some respite and humanity. They work evening or night hours, when the mercury goes down a bit. Air conditioners and cold water is everybody’s basic right. Well kind of as I have also seen poor expats working with charcoal and cement in that scorching sun.

And then to top it off the holy month of Ramadan. Where the ordinary people do not know that Islam is not asking you to kill yourself in the name of pleasing Allah. If you’re sick or fear of being sick (Read heat stroke) do not fast.

Plus in Ramadan, everything, i.e., milk, yogurt, ice, fruits, electricity and hence water either disappear from the markets or are out of reach of the common people. So imagine fasting while living on the Sun!

I had been reading so many Do’s and Dont’s about this heatwave, so I thought its going to be a good idea if I sum those up in here. I googled couple of these and found some on Twitter.

  • Stop/break fast. Allah is the ever merciful; He knows!
  • Heat stroke is the most serious form of heat injury and is considered a medical emergency.
  • People over 50 are most at risk, although anyone can be affected because of improper ventilation, dehydration or chronic ailments.
  • Throbbing headache, dizziness, lack of sweating despite the heat, nausea and vomiting, rapid heartbeat & breathing, behavioral changes such as confusion, disorientation and unconsciousness are but some symptoms of Heat stroke. DO NOT IGNORE!
  • If some one or yourself have any of these, fan air while wetting skin with water.
  • Apply ice packs to armpits, groin, neck, and back. Because these areas are rich with blood vessels close to the skin, cooling them may reduce body temperature.
  • RUSH to the hospital. And try not to take the entire family as the Emergency rooms are already crowded.
  • Keep an eye on elderly neighbours and try to check about their well being.
  • House maids, servants and drivers are humans too. Try to schedule them during late or early hours of the day, hand them some water bottles before they leave and let them use that air conditioner that is otherwise not allowed!

There are many people who are doing volunteer work on their own. Find someone and if nothing then at least get some cold water bottles to the nearest local hospital. It doesn’t have to be mineral water. Even clean, boiled tap water would do. Remember every good deed is multiplied many times in this holy month!

I called my father as he is old and alone and I am concerned about his well being. And he goes, ” I am okay, you people stay indoors, its hot over there I’ve learned so take care of my babies!”

So basically he was telling me not to worry for him in 47 degrees without water and electricity while I should watch for myself and children as it was 25 degrees in GTA today. Parents are always parents!

My own sister had some serious diarrhoea and nausea last night. After I finish these lines, I am going to call her.

Stay safe Karachi… You are love and are loved!

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Do not fear Allah(SWT)

Once again, the same old rants of mine….

First its about the weather, and trust me when I say it…. This morning it felt like part of some post-apocalyptic, dark cold corner of the planet, typical Hollywood movie style, bitter cold, blowing snow, less people, more clothes(No rags though)

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Today is the coldest day of the winter so far, with temperatures as low as -18 or -20 in some regions, and feeling like -30 to -35. God Almighty help us as January has just begun. February please do not be harsh and mean on us. May all of us and our loved ones stay protected and safe.

 

And now what actually prompted me to scribble these lines…. I am part of these amazing women, or say Muslim women groups on Facebook. You want to find a good cleaning lady, a carpenter, you want to know the best eateries in town, you want to talk about your health issues, seek guidance for education or want to know how to potty train your toddler; you’d find instant help, contacts, remedies, guidance- you name it!

BUT there is no such thing as free lunch and so even this one comes with a price tag that says “Being judged”

As Muslim immigrants, we are always trying to settle ourselves in the West, trying to balance our traditions and values with the fast paced life. Thanks to Canada and its beautiful people, I feel accepted, my beliefs respected, my values appreciated. And let me tell you: Canada is the most multicultural place Ive seen.

But there is some degree of intolerance that I still feel. No, not from the people of West, but mostly those from my own country, or from those who share the same beliefs as mine.

I post a question and I get stomped by judgmental comments, I post a note and get hurled by insults and what is all so NOT right in what I wrote, and how angry I made Allah (SWT) by writing or asking something or how I disrespected my own country of birth or how for goodness’ sake I do not deserve to live in Canada. My fellow women, my fellow Muslim women, my fellow Pakistani Muslim women? Seriously? You think scaring me from the wrath of Allah(SWT) would do any good? You think advising me on how to raise children when I only quote a 5 year old’s innocent dialogue would do any good? You think bashing, bickering and ridiculing me and many like myself on what we eat, wear, watch, buy, talk would do you or anyone else, any good?

Take a deep breathe ladies; inhale and exhale. You’re not the godsend Messiah!

I always encourage and try to find facts about what we do in our day to day life. It is my responsibility to share something good or knowledgeable. But if I share that having Iced Cappuccino from Tim Hortons is okay for me, despite the fact that it carries nth of alcohol as part of the vanilla flavoring, why would you label me Kaafir? Or if I share an event that I am planning at Moxie’s, why would you call it Haraam (Forbidden)? Who gave you the license to judge me? To label me? To ridicule my choices?

This is not the Islam I know. The Islam I know is the religion of love. You do not need fear and threats to spread it. If so, then what is the difference between you and those relentless creatures who killed innocent school children in the name of religion in Peshawar or who shot 12 innocent people dead this morning in Paris? If they are terrorists, so are you.

I came across this beautiful post by Brother Omar Suleiman and I think it perfectly relates.

Teach yourself first and then you children; Do not fear Allah(SWT) to be close to Him; love Him and He will be closer than you can imagine!

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TO IMPOSE OR TO ABSORB?

I’ve been trying to stay focused, but certain things are determined at the time of our birth, in our genes and being bound is certainly not in mine. Have always been a rebel by nature; curiosity killing the heck out of me, so while certain things remain my forte(Or so I like to think) I still want to poke my nose or my leg in to everything that comes my way!

So coming back, visiting a relative over the weekend, I came across an interesting debate, that I couldn’t resist to write about. My aunt very excitedly told me about her son’s admission in the Islamic school for the coming session. And while I congratulated her, over the tea, her husband very frankly expressed his side of the things. which eventually turned into an argument, and by the end of the conversation, there were practically two groups in the room; the uncle and myself, and everybody else.

Living life abroad, in the western world is a really tough one I tell you. Add to it raising kids and you are sitting on a pile of dynamite- one wrong click and poof- All will be smoke and ash.

An irony that most of the Pakistani families overseas face is looking for an identity. Interestingly, no other community faces the same situation like ours. Being the emotional ones that we are, we always look back and hardly let go.Life is like a boomerang for most. Destination number one for vacations is Pakistan. So many WHAT IFS and BUTS haunt them. Live here but never adopt life in here. Hardly eat out, social life equals to none, and the scariest of all-how to teach your family what is faith?

Still I look around myself and find people stressing on the memorization of Quranic verses, saying Bismillah (Start in the name of God) before meal and Alhamdulillah (Thank God) at the end. But its confusing for me to see these same people never teaching empathy, care, flexibility and the importance of sharing. These very same people shout, scream and even hit some one if they don’t find things their way. Who to blame?

IDENTITY-MIND-MAP

Born and raised in Karachi-the city of lights, in the Islamic Republic of Pakistan, I was never forced to do anything I wouldn’t want to. As the first child of the family, and then the first from the maternal side, I always enjoyed undivided love and attention. I was sent to the newly wed daughter-in-law of our neighbor at the tender age of three,  She taught me Quran and also almost all the other arts & skills that people now term as old-fashioned. Sewing, stitching, crafting, crocheting and what not. By the time I was seven and a half, not only I had finished reading the Quran, but was also a pro in all these things. The school that I attended had compulsory periods for prayers, and Quran was taught as a subject in all grades with tafseer and tajweed. So yes my knowledge of the religion was a bit more than my peers (Bragging much?)

And while I was getting to know my religion, I also participated in every other thing that came my way-science projects, school theatre, debates, quiz, drawing, painting, playing squash at the provincial level-the list is long. And yes, all the while balancing religion with ever thing else. That is how my mother raised me. Though exceptions were there, but I generally saw and observed moderate behaviors. Almost all of my childhood and the teen years were denim-clad and as a typical Pakistani girl I was always judged more for my appearance and less for what I am as a person.Yet I never saw, even for once, the fear in the eyes of my parents-one that I, very often see in the eyes of expats or immigrants living outside Pakistan.

I reached college and still I would roam around freely with the confidence and trust of my parents. I started my professional life, traveled all over the world, attended workshops, seminars; taught people, shopped, sung, dined and laughed. I had my own fair share of fancy manicures, expensive watches, branded accessories and no one raised a brow (Well they did, but not questioning my faith)

I studied in USA, spent some time in London, stayed in Dubai and then moved to Canada. And that’s when my life changed. I felt I moved closer to religion, wanted to learn more, know more. Guess it was part of the process where I was trying to find and keep my own identity in people of all races, all colors. But being religious in no way stops me from shopping or laughing or having fun. Does it?

Now if I indulge in something fancy, I am labeled spendthrift; I start humming a favorite lyric and I am being informed of my weak Iman. I buy a favorite style at Zara and people start telling me my life is a waste!

Hypocrisy thy word I’d use for such attitude. Till some time back, I would get scared with all the thoughts of ending up in hell. Then I researched. It was surprising to see people paying more attention to rituals then the actual spirit of religion. I meet families wearing hijabs and then back biting someone at the same time. I see kids, who know the prayer for stepping out of the house but can’t stand the sight of some other kid watching any other cartoon channel then what they would want to watch-thus lacking tolerance. Its not that all this happens only in Canada or Western countries for that matter, or in Pakistanis. Its just that back home we live amongst people who look like us, talk, like us and probably think like us-well not all of them but in general. Like I mentioned earlier, its more of an identity struggle that people try to adopt ways to look different or be different. Still it’s a personal choice and any individual at any time is free to adopt what suits them. But my point is does only looking like ’something’ or ’someone’ makes us that? Or should our acts, our behavior, our attitude reflect it? Should it not all be absorbed rather than being imposed?

I might be labeled ignorant, but I thank God for not being a hypocrite. As a kid I was taught my values and deep in my heart and my mind, I knew I could do anything but to cross the line and it’s the trust that don’t let people astray.  Its not about the fear of being burned in hell but the thought of not being friend with God-There is a huge difference between the two!

Patience and tolerance, empathy and love of God is what should be preached, not only to kids but to the grown ups too. Enlighten them, educate them, and then let them decide what they want out of their life. Who would want their kids to show them their Hijab-covered heads at home and  do things in the school backyard later that I don’t want to mention here or even think about. Pressure is never the solution. Not that I am a super-woman who knows everything, but yes, this is something I have observed, researched and learnt. I still am learning, every new day, every new hour.

Someone very dear & wise once told me something which I have kept in my treasure box. Quote “Give’em Roots. Then give them Wings”

The roots of being tolerant, being patient, being empathetic, being believers-being human. They will grow their own wings. Is that wrong??

Image courtesy: http://mslangleysyear11englishclass.wikispaces.com/Identity+%26+Belonging

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Don’t wake us up!

Suddenly I see and hear every one talking about Malala Yousufzai.
As per Wikipedia, the dove-eyed Malala Yousafzai is a 14 year old girl, known for her civil right’s activism, especially in the field of women’s rights in the Swat Valley, where the Talibanregime has banned girls from attending school. She was Featured in NewsWeekPakistan’s 100 Women Who Matter in Apr 2012. This beacon of hope was shot in the head and neck on her way back from school on October 9 2012, by unidentified gunmen of Tehrik e Taliban Pakistan.
So is it about a girl being shot? Is it about a 14 year old activist being shot? Is it about someone being shot in Swat? Or is it about someone being shot by TTP?
With all my sympathies and prayers going out to the little girl with a mighty heart, I am yet to discover what all this razzmatazz is about. Of course I am not pointing out to the people who really are concerned for her well being, but come on. It isn’t unexpected. We all knew it was coming, one day or another. The question remains did we do anything to prevent this from happening? OR even more now that its done, has any measure been taken to stop it from happening again? Who should be held responsible- The gun (TTP) or the hands behind the gun (???)
But the story doesn’t actually start from here. It actually started way back, years back, or say ages back. Why go way too far. We still remember Rimsha Masih, a teenage girl who according to reports is suffering from Down’s syndrome and who was arrested by Pakistani police in August 2012 and who could face the death penalty for blasphemy for allegedly desecrating pages of the Quran (or a book containing verses from the Quran) by burning. To me, Hammad Malik and Imam Hafiz Mohammed Khalid Chishti are also Taliban.
Or even closer are the 13 girls declared vani on Monday by a Jirga in Dera Bugti, Balochistan while settling a murder-related conflict between two tribes. Smells like Taliban doesn’t it?
Laugh out loud… What kind of funny people are we?? For now we are busy making score every minute using the heinous act of attack on Malala. But it wont be long before we’ll forget Malala with the next crisis. Like all issues, it’ll lose the limelight, no lessons learnt! Nothing practical! We are sleeping-Please don’t disturb!!
Its not just Tehrik e Taliban Pakistan. Its basically a mindset in the name of religion; that actually is in contrast to the beautiful religion that we follow. That believes in beheading, killing and oppressing. That believes in forcing, looting, burning and detonating. Some are targeted because they want to learn, and educate themselves. Some because they are Shia or Sunni. Some because they refuse to cover their heads and some for not growing a beard. Some even because they refuse to follow, while some because they want to separate their paths. But majority of those targeted leave this world with only one question in mind: What was my fault? They are the victims of bomb blasts, target killings, blasphemy, drone attacks, vani, karo kari-and thus the one state of mind that rules this Mumlikat e Khudadaad today-The Talibaan state! Welcome to the Talibaan Pakistan!!
Just read this beautiful piece by Mohsin Naqvi. Happy reading!!
Koi sheher aisa basaon main
Meray bas main ho toa kabhi kahin
Koi sheher aisa basaon main
Jahan sach ko sach say ho waasta
Jahan jugnoo-on ko hawa dikhati ho raasta
Jahan chaand maand na ho kabhi
Jahan khusboo-on ko badalti rut se hasad na ho
Jahan khuwab aankhon main jagmagaain toa
Jism o jaan k sab he dareechon main tairgi ka guzar na ho
Koi raat aisi basar na ho
K basher ko apni khabar na ho
Jahan daagh daagh seher na ho
Jahan kashtiyan hon rawaan dawaan,
Toa samandaron main bhanwar na ho
Jahan barg o baar se ajnabi
Koi shaakh koi shajar na ho
Meray bas main ho toa kabhi kahin
Koi sheher aisa basaon main…
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